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iamthewalrus
Senior Member
Joined: 03 Dec 2003
Posts: 117
Location: SoCal
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 Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 11:05 pm Post subject: Guitar Friendly Musician Jokes |
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So, I'll get the ball rolling with this one:
A kid walks up to his dad and says "Dad, when I grow up, I want to be a musician".
His dad replies; "I'm sorry son, you just can't have it both ways".
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iamthewalrus
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak. Now you say "control freak who." |
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Bluelobster
Senior Member
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 1172
Location: France
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| Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2003 4:39 am Post subject: let's go for it |
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 what is the difference between a jazz musician & a giant pizza ?
The giant pizza can feed 6 persons.  |
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edpesco
Senior Member
Joined: 21 Jul 2003
Posts: 449
Location: Austria
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| Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2003 9:49 am Post subject: |
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how can you say a drummer is knocking on your door? He's getting faster....  |
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elizabeth
Robben Fan #1
Joined: 16 Jul 2003
Posts: 534
Location: SF Bay area
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| Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2003 9:55 am Post subject: eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! |
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How many lead singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None...she just stands there, and the Universe revolves around her!
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Aeolian
Senior Member
Joined: 04 Nov 2003
Posts: 886
Location: SF Bay Area
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| Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2003 10:38 am Post subject: |
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I heard this from a sax player so don't blame me (but we've all heard these kind, probably could apply to a lot of guitar players as well)
What's the difference between a harmonica player and a glass of water?
The glass of water is tasteless and quiet
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There are no such things as wrong notes, there's only the look on your face.
My Stuff: www.stevekirbymusic.com |
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fingerlakes
Senior Member
Joined: 21 Jul 2003
Posts: 107
Location: upstate,NY
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| Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2003 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. When he asks how much , the bartender says " that'll be 50 cents ". The customer says " wow, why so cheap, it's been a long time since I've paid only 50 cents for a beer "
The bartender goes on to explain that he had recently won a multi-million dollar lottery and wanted to provide a place for people to enjoy alcoholic beverages at the cheapest possible prices, regardless of profits.
"That's great ", said the customer " but how come the 4 guys down at the end of the bar aren't drinking ?"
"They're musicians ", replied the bartender, "they're waiting for Happy Hour ." |
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iamthewalrus
Senior Member
Joined: 03 Dec 2003
Posts: 117
Location: SoCal
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| Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2003 5:57 pm Post subject: Next oldie . . . |
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What words will you never hear spoken outside a concert?
Look! There's the accordion player's Porsche!
Ta da 
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iamthewalrus
----------------------------------------------------
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak. Now you say "control freak who." |
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elizabeth
Robben Fan #1
Joined: 16 Jul 2003
Posts: 534
Location: SF Bay area
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| Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2003 7:27 pm Post subject: ta da, indeed! |
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update @ 10:30..one of my favorite California bumper stickers:
Play an accordian, go to jail (yuck yuck!)
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www.elizabethgage.com |
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Bluelobster
Senior Member
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 1172
Location: France
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| Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 4:01 am Post subject: this one for fill |
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Oh i know this sticker , first time i saw it as in france sticked on a Bass
travel case, Hilarious no need to say, for a french it smells funniest.
Now here is a joke for you fillmore : (i apologize 'coz it's not so funny, but it's one in the great tradition of french vs belgium)
Do you know why Belgian guitar players wear boots for switching stompboxes ? Because they fear AIDS..............
Wait, wait , wait a minut , once again i apologize, not only this one is so weird, but no one can get it in english . Hey fill , alors tu sais pourquoi les guitaristes belges portent des bottes sur scene ? Parcequ'ils ont peur d'attraper le sida en appuyant sur les pédales................
MERRY XM AS TO U ALL.
PEACE, UNDERSTANDING , & HARMONY .
May my sweet angels bring me this tonight.
BLURPOSTER |
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Bluelobster
Senior Member
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 1172
Location: France
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| Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 4:50 am Post subject: To be fair |
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I must expiate the last one , so there is an international weird one :
i 'll do it with french people but feel free to translate in any ways .
Here it is :
Do U know why there is a lot of shit in front of frenchies supermarket doors????
' COZ there is a sign on the doors saying : PUSH.
I know, i know i'm a moron but hey everybody go to joecartoon.com
I am not advertising i am suggesting.
See ya |
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Bluelobster
Senior Member
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 1172
Location: France
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| Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 4:53 am Post subject: Re: this one for fill |
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| Bluelobster wrote: | Oh i know this sticker , first time i saw it as in france sticked on a Bass
travel case, Hilarious no need to say, for a french it smells funniest.
BLURPOSTER |
In fact Accordion players do have prosche in france.  |
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frank0936
Senior Member
Joined: 26 Nov 2003
Posts: 916
Location: Fairhope, AL
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| Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 9:33 am Post subject: they're getting worse! |
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Okay, I have to get in on this.
What's the difference between a trampoline and an accordian player?
You don't have to take off your shoes to jump on an accordian player!
Frank |
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Bluelobster
Senior Member
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 1172
Location: France
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| Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 10:03 am Post subject: WOOWWWWWW |
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PARTY ON    |
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Aeolian
Senior Member
Joined: 04 Nov 2003
Posts: 886
Location: SF Bay Area
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| Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 10:57 am Post subject: Re: ta da, indeed! |
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| elizabeth wrote: |
update @ 10:30..one of my favorite California bumper stickers:
Play an accordian, go to jail (yuck yuck!)
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Ah Yes, the Starving Musician used equipment store, or Starving for short. If not for them, many working musicians wouldn't have anything to play.
Okay, this is a bit long, and can be made longer in the telling but I'll try to get to the punch line quicly.
A group of explorers are trudging though the jungle when they hear the sounds of distant drums. Concerned, they ask their native guide if there is anything to worry about. The guide replies "yes, drums not so good, but when drums stop, is very bad".
The explorers continue on, but the sounds of the drumming gets louder and louder. The guide continues to reassure them, "drums not so good, but when drums stop, is very bad".
Finally they reach a clearing and suddenly they hear the now close by sound of the drumming stop. Frightened, they ask the native guide, "What happens next?"
To which the guide replies, "now come bass solo".
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There are no such things as wrong notes, there's only the look on your face.
My Stuff: www.stevekirbymusic.com |
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elizabeth
Robben Fan #1
Joined: 16 Jul 2003
Posts: 534
Location: SF Bay area
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| Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 11:09 am Post subject: eee! |
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...another
(I love this thread!)
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www.elizabethgage.com |
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